Good luck to You, Leo Grande
If you asked me what my favourite movie about sex work is, I would most likely say Good luck to You, Leo Grande. I love The Deuce just as much, but that’s a tv show.
My ex-boyfriend introduced me to this movie and I was obsessed straight from the beginning. Then I watched it with my next boyfriend and I also made my bestie to watch it.
Why do I love it so much? For many reasons:
I'm obsessed with Emma Thompson and I want to be her when I grow up
Daryl McCormack and his sixpack and mesmerising eyes
I love movies that are based on dialogue rather than action and too much going on
It’s the most representative movie/tv show about sex work I’ve seen, and to me, it’s extremely relatable
The Deuce is great, but it’s all about the history of sex work based in the 70s and 80s in New York. Secret Diary of a London Callgirl is also great, but soon it becomes way too over the top and not based on reality. The Girlfriend Experience is far too emotionless for me. No one ever laughs, and there’s no real chemistry. Everything is so damn serious, including all the grey hotel rooms and the colour grading of the show.
But Good Luck to You, Leo Grande? Funny. Real. Actual connection. Emotions. Important conversations. Even though the movie is basically filmed in one room, it covers many relevant topics—sex work of course, the importance of intimacy, the complex of female orgasm, morals, and stigma.
Moving forward, I will be talking about my favourite points from the movie, so please stop reading if you don’t want any spoilers. x
Nancy Stokes - woman who followed the “right” path in life that society is constantly pushing on us, especially on women. She’s a teacher, she got married young, had kids, she dresses modestly and she’s never stood up for herself and fought for what she wanted and needed. Only to find herself later in life widowed, lonely, and never experienced passion or even had an orgasm. So she makes a choice. She books a male escort. But especially in the beginning, she’s in a war with herself. Her lust took over, but her morals are still there and those morals are telling her that what she’s doing is wrong, sex work is wrong and she’s exploiting this handsome young man.
I’ve had clients like that too. But usually, it’s not the older men who are struggling with their morals and overthinking how much I surely don’t want to be there with them. It’s typically guys of my age or younger. I find this contrast quite interesting. Of course, an older woman is feeling self-conscious about the fact she bought sexual services of a much younger man and she’s thinking he’s not going to fancy her or that he must be repulsed by her. Bullshit about how older women are not desirable is imposed on us by society since forever. Men don’t face this type of pressure. No one is telling them that once they are over forty, they are not allowed to be sexual and no one will want to fuck them.
Now, don’t get me wrong - I love older men. But I also got into the industry in my late 20s, and my brain was fully developed by then. But I do find problematic that significantly older men have no problem booking barely legal girls who could easily be their granddaughters. It really doesn’t sit well with me when I'm reading a review on one of those pathetic review sites where a 70yo man is explicitly describing a booking with a 19yo girl. However, in the movie, Nancy is in her 50s and Leo is in his late 20s. Yet, she’s freaking out, asking all these inappropriate questions. I’ll tell you one thing - no client doesn’t want to be repeatedly reminded they are there paying for a service, just as us escorts would rather not be reminded we’re there being paid for our company. If you as a client keep saying how surely we would rather not be there with you, it’s the self-pity that makes the booking difficult for us. And what’s even worse? It’s when the client is acting like they actually do not want to be there. As much as I understand people can be nervous, acting like my kiss or touch makes you uncomfortable puts me in a terrible situation.
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During a conversation, Nancy makes a comment implying that she bought Leo. To what he says:
“You haven’t bought me. You’ve bought my services.”
What you hear constantly about sex workers is that we’re selling our bodies. People never tend to say that about any other physical jobs that in fact do fuck up people’s bodies. How are sex workers selling their bodies, but construction workers are not? When I was a barista I was standing 12 hours straight fucking up my back and fucking up my wrist by making coffees. All that for £8 per hour. Don't we all sell our bodies under capitalism? Sitting by our computers all day is no way good for us either. Sex workers provide services under their own terms and boundaries. Just because you pay for our service, it doesn’t mean you can do anything you want with us. If you think about it, especially independent sex workers have more power not just over their bodies, but also their time and energy, than most people in their vanilla job.
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My absolute favourite part of the movie is this dialogue:
Nancy: I don’t understand why you’re doing this.
Leo: Actually, I'm using the money I make to save up for college.
Nancy: Oh wonderful, are you really?
Leo: No. (says with a smirk)
This. This is the point where you know that they consulted a real sex worker when making the movie. You know how many times a client asked me: “So, what do you do?” Honey, you just gave me £300 for an hour of my time, what do you think I do? There are a lot of men whose brain just cannot comprehend that a woman could be a sex worker and actually enjoy her job, enjoy her clients and take it seriously. Men who ask that question don’t even realise that we’re being taken to wonderful fancy restaurants, we get showered with gifts and we’re making wonderful long-lasting relationships. Sure, it’s absolutely fine doing sex work whilst saving up for studies, or travels or whatever. But it’s also absolutely fine to just be a sex worker. That’s already a full-time job. Keeping on top of all the emails and marketing, taking care of our bodies and making sure we always look our best. Many people think we’re doing this because we’re not smart enough to do other things, but we’re literally being website developers, marketing specialists, social media influencers, fitness gurus, therapists and sexual Gods all at once.
Nancy keeps pushing a lot of boundaries during the movie. The worst thing she did was definitely intentionally finding out Leo’s real name. Clients can easily sometimes get a bit possessive, saying they want to know the “real” us. But what does it mean? Even people who use different names and different persona for their work— it’s still them. Just a different side of them. If we want to share something from our personal life with you, we will. But we certainly don’t owe it to you. I absolutely adore so many of my clients, but would I want to go for an unpaid coffee with them? No, I wouldn’t. By booking us, you’re entering a transactional relationship, and that’s what we mutually agreed to. There never should expectations of anything more.
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Even though Nancy was an incredibly difficult client, I do also understand her. She is an older woman who was raised in a certain way, had certain beliefs, and was sexually unfulfilled her whole life. Not only that she’s never had an orgasm, she’s also never sucked a cock or received oral sex herself. There’s a scene that always brings me to tears, where she admits she’s never experienced any oral and says she’s always wanted to try it. It’s a scene that really shows that female desires are seemingly identical to male desires. Yes, most of us love sucking a cock. Firstly, it’s empowering having someone in your mouth. As Samantha Jones said: “Maybe you're on your knees, but you got him by the balls.” Secondly, don’t we all love giving pleasure to someone we love or fancy? Don’t we all also love being taken care of by someone we love or fancy? So missing out on these simple pleasures most of your life is just heartbreaking.
When it comes to the orgasm gap and the fact that there are so many women who have never had an orgasm before… Can we just fucking talk about this more? I can’t recommend enough the podcast called How Cum that Remy Kassimir started because she was in her mid-twenties and never had an orgasm before. I was like 24 when I had my first orgasm. At that point, I genuinely gave up thinking my body was able to have one. I’ve always loved sex but never for the orgasm part. I’ve enjoyed the sensation, the playfulness, and intimacy. But it was my very powerful shower head that finally took me all the way to the final destination. Suddenly, I was showering six times per day and even when my boyfriend came over and we just had sex, I excused myself to take a shower afterwards. I suddenly became a very horny thirteen year old boy. A few years later I was working with some wonderful women and one of them recommended me the Satisfyer. I was hooked. This is why women need womanhood and we can’t be shy or ashamed to talk about sex and masturbation. No sex ed ever talks about female pleasure, and even all the girly magazines I used to read growing up were all about “how to get the boy to be obsessed with me” and “how to pleasure him”. Also, maybe instead of handing contraception to young girls when they turn fifteen, we should give them vibrators. Something that will satisfy their puberal needs but won’t break their heart and won’t get them pregnant.
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Another favourite scene of mine is when Leo puts on music and makes Nancy dance to loosen up. It shows how beautiful a relationship between a sex worker and a client can be beyond just sex. I have such a fond memory with a client I’ve known now for over five years—after we had just been intimate, we were both completely naked, the music was blasting, and we were dancing freely in his living room like no one else in the world existed. Naked, happy and free.
Now, let’s take a minute and chat about Leo and the way he’s talking about his work.
Nancy: You have a mysterious gift.
Leo: No, I just make an effort.
It’s obvious from the start he takes his job seriously. And he enjoys it. You obviously can’t force chemistry. You can’t force whether you really click with someone or not. Yes, I do forget some clients easily than others, but whilst I'm on a booking with them, I am truly present. I am the kind of sex worker who will cry in an uber after a foursome, in which the client paid no attention to me and I only had sex with him for twenty seconds. “Like what do you mean I just got paid £700 for nothing?” I say sobbing whilst the other girl next to me, who didn’t even get fully naked, is celebrating that she just got paid £700 for nothing. Obviously, that wasn’t just my working standards talking, it was my ego. I was hurt that this girl with massive tits got all the attention and not me. Don’t get me wrong—I had plenty of bookings where I got paid a full fee for just talking or having a drink, but that was agreed on beforehand. This was meant to be an orgy evening, yet it ended up feeling like a scene straight out of the movie Midsommar. (I’ll let you guess which scene)
So yes, some of us do take our job seriously and we want to have the client leaving happy. The fact I manage to do ten minutes in reverse cowgirl and still keep a smile on my face speaks for itself.
Leo: I like being wanted by them. (clients) When I'm here with you, being looked at by you. I feel good.
Every person wants to feel wanted and desired. It doesn’t matter whether I'm paying you or you’re paying me. It still feels nice. I am a woman. I love receiving gifts. I love being poured champagne. I love being cherished and worshipped. Being able to pay my rent afterwards is just a cherry on top.
Leo: It feels good to make others feel good.
Knowing you made someone feel less lonely. Knowing you made someone laugh. It’s enough for me to know that what I do actually matter.
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In one of the final scenes when Nancy and Leo are together in the hotel bar, Nancy says so many important things. She mentions that for the first time ever she feels unstoppable in her daily life because she’s no longer sexually frustrated. And my favourite line?
“Pleasure is a wonderful thing. Something we should all have.”
…they proceed to go to a hotel room a fuck each other’s brains out.
In the end, Leo is leaving the hotel with a massive grim on his face. I can’t even say how many times I’ve felt this exact way when leaving a booking. That rush of having cash in your purse, a great night behind you, and Tower Bridge on the horizon. I would compare this feeling to the early stages of being in love, but the honeymoon phase never ends.
And FUCK YES to the final scene where Emma Thompson is fully naked looking at herself in the mirror. Every so often, I feel like I'm the only woman in the industry who does not give a shit about getting older and wrinkles. I find older women so beautiful, wise and inspiring. I believe that beauty, confidence, and sexuality is an energy and not a look. And quite frankly, I know I'm gonna be just as sexy when I'm fifty as I am now.
L. x